You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
