I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
