The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize