i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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