Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
