I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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