I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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