So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
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