so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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