that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
