i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
