you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I understand Curling. That high.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
