my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
