if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
pray to the hookup gods
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
