We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?