I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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