Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
