I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize