my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
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I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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