The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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