Is it normal to miss your booty call?
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
