ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
