so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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