You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
