I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
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