After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
