Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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