Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
