neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
