am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
