Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Randomize
