What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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