so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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