god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
