I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize