wakey wakey hands off snakey
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
