could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
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I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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