we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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