Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
