my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize