What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
