I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
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