Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
