I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
