Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
