my soul wont recognize me after tonight
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
