Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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