There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
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I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
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Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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