shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
