It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Best friends brother. Beat that.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
