You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
