You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
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I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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