was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
