This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
