dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
