Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
