Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
