That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Randomize
