I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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