Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
