and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
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I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
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Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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