Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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