Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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